and stupid.
the way i feel.
back to school...where i found out.. i don't wanna be.
i felt so different in the room, and i.. just found out yet again that i am the most lazy thing in the room, without..any ambitions.
and
having problems with my boyfriend..
ghost from the past haunt me..and i really..really don't know what to do.
he suggested i find this ghost and talk with him finally, get it all out, and do whatever i want with him. I wouldn't. I couldn't. I... i don't know myself really anymore.
Also
i have a short term memory.. which is really helping me out at school. And is really helping me out with my relationship. "do u remember when i kissed you by the river?".. "...no..." I bet it feels great hearing that..
ANd...thh.. i don't.. i remember partial things from my life. don't know what's the standart for what to remember and what not,but i really feel that i'm missing something often. maybe the blond hair is growing on on me. ..
hair...face..body
i began to hate them all, and much more.
i don't feel strong anymore.
where's the independent Me?
the one who was more hurtful than hurting herself?
the one that knew what to say and when?
the one that was laughing, enduring life?
and now what?
what is it that is left there in me?
i'm not liking the mood swings and all..
i understand men now
ugh..
it's so damn hard.
i need to talk to someone.
other than my friend.
i need to talk to a stranger.
someone who i know less..
i'm getting out of power
i'll soon to be shut down.